rainny day

just feel stupid today. I did something so so so super stupid. I hate myself, gruuu. I wanna have affair, sound crazy, I wanna leave and go to somewhere to start over again,to eraser my past, just wanna go and leave everything and everyone,sound rude. I'm so tired than ever, I wanna cry but I cant.I'mbso confused now, today I called and texted him but maybe it's not destiny, we cant talk after all, too late, I wont call again I think, it made me months to decide to call or not, even he s not handsome (actually he s ugly) but he has something attracting me, or Im not satisfy, gru I dont know :(. well, maybe I should let it down, turn back the way I should be on